Although it is evident that some text is missing, the gist of Esther’s inquiry is clear. She has become pregnant and borne children on more than one occasion, and those children have died. In her grief, she is seeking advice from a spiritual authority to prevent future deaths.
We should not be surprised that Esther reached out to a monastery for aid. In Egypt and elsewhere, monastic communities dispensed both medical care and spiritual succor (the line between them being indistinct in antiquity), which led to the eventual establishment of monastic hospitals. (The decisive discussion of this historic development is Andrew Crislip’s From Monastery to Hospital.) These institutions served the rich and poor alike, as well as the monks who staffed them. In this way, monasteries filled a dire social need. Esther, then, sought advice from one of the few healthcare resources available to the poor. Esther’s letter speaks to her ability to exercise some form of personal agency in the medical marketplace, where she may have had limited options.
This passage also makes clear that Esther perceives her children’s deaths as a potential personal failing—“Perhaps (I) do something unfitting”—that needs correction: “send me a rule.” These utterances betray her anxiety that she bears responsibility, even unwittingly, for shortening her children’s lives. Her request for a rule reinforces this point. In late antique Christianity, a rule was religious instruction intended to order one’s life and correct spiritual failings. Esther’s insistence that the holy man send her instruction indicates that she believes her action or inaction has directly affected the outcome of her pregnancies. Through her words, we witness the grief and hopelessness that accompany the loss of her children.